no...it's fine...

tonight, a table had ordered a hamburger cooked to medium rare. when i checked on the table after they had received their food, this customer pointed out to me that the burger was fully cooked...more like well done. i immediately apologized, offering to bring her a new burger in a jiffy. she declined, stating it would be fine. her solution was this:

i'll just put a bunch of ranch on it.

fork it.

tonight brought me a customer that ordered the grilled cheese, and then proceeded to eat the entire sandwich with a knife and fork. we have opposable thumbs for a reason folks.

i think that i'm hilarious.

last night, i had a gentleman at a table order a walleye sandwich. walleye is a white-fleshed fish, and rather mild in flavor, but occasionally will have one or two pin bones in a filet. one of his dining partners seated next to him had ordered the ribs. when i went to clear the plates, it was obvious that he had noshed on his friends' ribs, as there were two very clean rib bones sitting on the plate, amongst some abandoned cabbage and radishes. i said to the customer, in a funny wisconsin accent, "oh my gosh, were those in the walleye? i'm so sorry about that." he replied with generic 'you're an idiot' laughter. whatever...i'm funny.

too much booze...

a woman the other night ordered a brandy on the rocks. i dropped it off at the table. i then came back later and the drink was barely touched and banished to the edge of the table. i asked if everything was okay with the beverage. her response: it's too much booze.

you're wrong. just wanted to let you know.

so i also work at a coffeeplace. this morning, a dude ordered a drink and we made it one size larger. he pointed this out, and we said apologized, and offered to make him a new one right away. he declined and walked away with the drink, leaving us with these parting words: no, it's fine. i'll take it. i just wanted to let you know you were wrong.

that's right...please keep spreading that sunshine around.

dairyology.

actual order:

i'll take a coffee, about two-thirds full, in a pint glass, with a coffee sleeve, a little pitcher of skim milk as well as a little pitcher of half and half, plus sweetner please.

and this wasn't even ordered at the coffee establishment that i work at.

i'll have taco tuesday...

actual conversation with a customer:

me: and what can i get for you sir?
dude: i'll have taco tuesday.
(note: it's wednesday night.)
me: i'm sorry...but we only have tacos on tuesday night. tonight's special is the perch fish fry.
dude: ok...i'll have a two egg omelette.
(note: it's about 9 p.m. and the restaurant never has omelettes, not even during brunch.)

he ended up ordering some soup, and two eggs, sunny side up.